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Dear Rain,
The problem that I would
like to overcome is that I lack consistency.
By that I mean, I start things and never finish it. So it goes in my life that I never seem to
gain any proficiency at the things I want to enjoy or learn about. I can't seem to stay focused on it long enough
to get anywhere! Help! I have never been diagnosed A.D.D but it may
be worth looking into as that seems likely.
Dear Reader,
Interestingly enough, I hear the same thing from so many
people. I also understand that attention
deficit disorder is a diagnosis that so many people seem to latch onto. I don’t want to dispute whether ADD is a real
diagnosable problem, however, I do want to take a look at whether or not it is
necessary for you to be diagnosed to create solutions for a more consistent
lifestyle.
There are so many reasons people are not consistent,
sometimes I question if we are meant to be consistent beings. In this world of ever changing movement, are
we supposed to stay consistent past our inspiration? I want you to think about the idea of learning
to play the guitar. If you wanted to
learn the guitar, yet you couldn’t seem to find a way to remember to practice,
is it true that you really wanted to learn the guitar? Have you thought about the idea that possibly
the reason we are not consistent on a path we believe we want is because in our
hearts it is not what we really want?
Think about it for awhile.
Think about each instance when you wanted to do something and yet you
chose not to, or you forgot or you ran out of time. Does this mean you are not consistent? Could it be fear that is truly causing your
choice to stop? It is just a new way to
think about it, it may not be the case.
We have lived a life trained to believe that we are supposed
to, have to, and should do things based on someone else’s ideas. For example, as children, our parents teach
us how they want us to behave so that we fit into their perception of home life and what it means to be successful
and safe in society. When we leave home,
we go to school and we learn from teachers and peers to fit into the school system’s perception of good
and bad, important and unimportant, and their idea of life and education.
Through this training that lasts 18 to 25 years, we’ve learned
to not trust our own judgment, our own thoughts or to value what we enjoy. At the same time, we are bombarded with
tasks, snippets of knowledge, and busywork that keep us from the ability to sort
and process our experiences on a daily basis.
Could this be the reason that so many of us are struggling to keep our focus?
Before you go to the doctor, you might want to think about
what choices you will make if you are diagnosed with ADD. Do you plan on going on medication? If not, save the money and look at the natural
solutions available online and in books.
Whether you officially have ADD or not doesn’t mean that you can’t use
the positive tools that people have created to help with consistency and focus. Take a look to see if their tools might work
for you without a doctor’s assessment.
If you do plan to use medication, these tools may be the key to slowly
reduce or eliminate the need for pills.
Either way, look for tools that will work for you.
Here
are the tools that I use to stay focused:
1. Schedule it in. I have found that when I have created the
space to get a task done, I will focus on that task with more enthusiasm. I don’t have to worry about the dishes, the ringing
phone or the laundry during this time.
And scheduling your task regularly will give you the consistency you are
looking for.
2. Creating space. Creating space to get any task done, whether
enjoyable or not, is important to keeping your focus. Creating space means that you have defined
the rules, boundaries and intentions that you have for that time. Be clear and honest about the awareness you
want during this scheduled block of time, and you’ll find yourself joyfully walking
smoothly towards your goal.
3. Practice your awareness. When we’re in a state of awareness, our minds
slow down. There is so much going on in
each and every moment, however, when you take out the past and the future from
your thoughts, it gives your mind the opportunity to breathe and focus on what’s
in front of you.
4. Give yourself a break. So many times we beat ourselves up for not
being perfect. It’s important to
remember we are human and, in fact, perfectly imperfect. Learning to love yourself and feel the joy of
life can allow you to focus on what is most important. I encourage you to check in with yourself
when you are struggling to focus on a task.
Ask yourself, “Am I truly loving myself right now?” and “Am I feeling
any sort of resistance to the task at hand?” Allow the honest answer to come up
from within.
Lastly, I want to ask you, what is the benefit of not
keeping your focus? What are the gifts of
being able to pay attention to so many things at once? Allow yourself some time to find three or
more benefits to being who you are, as you are, right now.
As you focus on acceptance for who you are, the inner battle you feel will lessen and the more you will be able to consistently move forward on what you truly love in this abundant life.
smiles and inspiration!
Rain
You can find out more about Rain and life coaching at her website:
Copyright 2009 by Rain Fordyce